Happy Birthday Mom!

Well today is my mothers birthday. It's really weird that I'm not there to spend it with her. My mom is easily my best friend, and it's bizarre living so far away. I honestly don't know what I would do without my mom to talk to on a daily basis, even if it's just checking in. If there is any situation in my life that I need to hash out with someone, I always go to her. No one else will do. It has always been that way, and I'm guessing it will always be that way. I value her opinion and her judgement more than just about any one elses in the world. We've had so many laughs and good times, rants and balling jags (mainly me on the balling jags) and everything in between. From my countless softball trips, to our drives and chews, to our shopping days and lunches, to planning my wedding, and everything in between, she has always been there for me. My mom is my number one cheerleader, always encouraging me to do my best and keep my head up. She always knows when it's best to comfort me and let me vent, and when I need to just "move along" and get through it. One of my favorite sayings from my mom is something I'm pretty sure she heard from her mom, "This too shall pass." And I still think of that saying whenever something seems like the end of the world. "Its not the end of the world" is another favorite saying of hers! And it's another that I always think of and say to others.
I'm thinking back on past good times with my mom, and I just thought of one that was so funny at the time that I literally laughed out loud right now thinking of it.... We were in the midst of planning my wedding, specifically trying to find the location. We had made our way to Dove Canyon, in south orange county. Its a very affluent, stunner area and we kept making jokes about how surely someone was going to run out and ask us to please get our dirty car off their streets of gold. We saw the country club, and made several comments about how buffed and glinged the whole place was, and pulled up to a Golden Spoon in the area for a yogurt. We go inside and get our yogurt, then retreat back to our car to eat it so we could mock ourselves in peace. We begin shoveling yogurt into our mouths, and I, brilliant and witty as I am, say something so hilarious that mom begins laughing. I don't even remember what exactly it was that I said, but she's laughing one of those silent, shaking laughs to where she can't even control herself. Yogurt begins literally falling out of her mouth onto her shirt and on the car seat. This, of course, causes me to practically pee my pants from laughing so hard. Luis Vuitton toting housewives are clicking by outside, shooting us disgusted looks of disapproval as we continue to laugh, and mom doesn't even try to stop the yogurt from dribbling everywhere. It was truly a hilarious moment.
We have so many stories like these... it is truly ridiculous. I know I am lucky to have a mom who will always be on my side, no matter what. At the same time, she's not afriad to tell me when I'm being an ass or when I'm wrong. I sometimes feel like its always her doing stuff for me and being there for me. I hope as I continue to get older she will start to feel like I'm always there for her as well.
Happy Birthday, Mom!! Wish I was there to help celebrate. I love you!!!

A Poop Summer.

After reading my moms blog about summertime, I began to feel depressed/annoyed. This summer DOES NOT feel like summer to me at all. Summer to me is the beach, the smell of sun tan lotion, bbqs, new bathing suits, staying out late, spa nights, pool days, and all the other stuff mom said. This summer I've had none of that so far.
No one here has a pool. Well, one couple has an INDOOR pool, which in my opinion is completely pointless unless you're a professional swimmer. There's a community pool that's actually supposed to be pretty nice, but I feel weird going there by myself. I'm also not a big fan of getting in community pools, which may sound snobby but I always look at all the greasy kids in there who are most definitely peeing, if not something much more disturbing. However I'm sure I'd easily deal with that if I had someone to go with, but all my friends have these crazy things called "jobs" (that I really can't wait to get back to by the way) that don't allow them to escape to pools every other day. I would consider laying out in my backyard if we had one. But sadly, instead of grass we have a giant pile of dirt, and a few weeds that look like the perfect hiding spot for a snake to pop out of and traumatize me for life. And there's so many weird bugs here flying all over the place that I wouldn't do that after May anyway. Oh, it's also been around 98 degrees every day, with scattered weird storm clouds occasionally popping up... not exactly "lay out with an iced tea and a book" kind of weather. Unless of course I want to use the book to sheild myself from the scorching sun and the iced tea as a pool of death for flies and any other weird flying bugs. God forbid I leave windows open as I would like to do in the evenings when it cools down, because thats when the breeze picks up and with that comes a cloud of dirt flying into my house. Oh, and we've blown the rest of our money this month in Denver, so we have no money for anything either. On the bright side at least we got to go to Denver in the first place... one brief ray of sunshine in an otherwise poopy summer.
Sorry to complain, and I'm sure I'll break out of this horrid mood after awhile, but I just felt like ranting. I know my life isn't that bad and I should probably just focus on the positives and quit whining, but I'm not in the mood for that right now. Sometimes it's necessary to whine. Poor Mike hears my rants enough, and I can't talk to anyone out here about it because I feel like a jerk since they've lived here their whole lives and don't realize the horridness of it. So you are the lucky ones who get to hear my rant. Wasn't it delightful?

Against Texas Twang.

Not long ago John accused me of having a bit of a Texas accent. I'd like to take this oppurtunity to announce that I have NOT picked up any sort of accent, and I am now determined not to let this happen to me, Mike, or any of my children.
Not everything about the accent annoys me, just some parts. The general slower, less enunciated way of talking doesn't bother me. It's kind of cute. And "y'all" doesn't bug me either. Really, y'all makes sense. Someone out here commented that we say "you guys" a lot. It's really true, we say "you guys" or "everyone" or "all of you" instead of y'all. And really "you all" isn't any worse than that. There are a few words that really bug me, however. I'll start with "fixin". People out here say fixin alllllll the time. "It's fixin to rain" or "they were fixin to go to lubbock" or "what time are yall fixin to get there?" This bothers me. Don't really know why, and it didn't really bug me at first... it just sounds dumb. Next, "reckon". This is not used quite as commonly, but when it is, it really gets to me. There's no quicker way to sound like a red neck than to use the word reckon. Really only older men use it, but still. Not ok. And on to my most hated, one that I had never even heard of before I came out here... "do what?"
Whenever someone didn't hear you, instead of saying "what?" or "excuse me" or even "pardon"... they say "do what??" in this really dumb sounding voice... At first I was very confused... I always want to say, "I didn't ask you to do anything!!" They can never just say what, its always do what. My children will be punished if they use that phrase. I just re read this and it sounds kind of mean. I guess it's not their fault. Just gets to me every now and then. Whats weird is that before I came out here, I thought that accent was really cute, and wouldn't have minded picking it up. That has definitely changed.
If you ever hear me say any of these words, although I'd be very surprised because I'm determined not to use them, feel free to smack me.

Happy Birthday Jim!

Growing up, all three of my brothers played a large role in my life. There was always a part of me that loved getting babysat by them when I was little, and even though mom and dad swear they rarely left, I remember this happening quite a bit. They would always let me eat whatever I wanted and sit and watch movies with me. To this day, watching Ferris Buellers Day Off or Grease reminds me of them. Jim and I always had a very special relationship. Most of my friends couldn't stand their brothers, and I could never understand this. Maybe it's because Jim was 6 years older than me rather than only 2 or 3, but we always got along well. Especially during my junior high years, I considered him one of my closest friends and one of the funniest people I knew. I always wanted to hang out with him and we had a million little jokes and things that only we understood. I remember literally bawling when he left for bible college, sure that things would never be the same. When he went to Indonesia, I had this weird fear that he was going to die and would pray multiple times a day that God would keep him safe. After he got married and I got deeper into highschool, things changed a little, but I still have a very special place for Jim in my heart. He has turned into a person that I respect and admire more than almost anyone else in the world for his relationship with God, with his wife and family, and just who he is as a person. I think anyone who knows him knows what I mean.
I'm quite sad I wasn't on any bday dinners or disneyland pops for him this year...
Happy Birthday Jim. I love you.
Oh and PS-- Next year I will officially be the last one in our fam still young and cool in my 20s. The rest of them will all be old thirtysomethings, and Joe will practically need depends. So Jim, enjoy your last year in my boat as a hip twentysomething. And yeah John, you've been out of that boat for quite some time.

old mcdonald had a farm...

I've been wanting to write this blog for awhile now, just now getting around to it. Just basically wanting to rant. Not long ago, Mike and I watched this thing on tv about an environmental rights guy going out to this pig farm in Iowa. He was under cover, hoping to get enough on them to get them for animal cruelty. In this case, the people most definitely deserved it. They literally hung the hogs to kill them and were laughing as it happened. Plus a whole bunch of other unneccesary stuff. However, the whole thing kinda made me mad. Anyone who knows me knows I am huge on animals. I really do love animals and I believe cruelty should be punished. However, there are so many people who go off about things that they know nothing about. I've heard so many people say they think cows are happier grazing in fields. Hmm well that's interesting, because many of those cows go hungry, have to walk miles for water, get sick and aren't treated, and die. Our cows have a constant pile of feed in front of them, water at all times, are treated immediately when they're sick, and even have misters going off in the summer when it's hot. Many humans aren't treated so well. I'd like to have a camara man there when Mike is getting up at 3am because there's a down cow in the barn. Another thing people don't seem to understand is that cows LIKE being milked. I watched one video in college that showed cows with bloody utters... Occasionally cows have an infection (not resulting in blood)... and it is treated, they are not milked at this time, and within a day or so they're fine. That's about as far as it goes. Think of it this way... the owners of the dairy ultimately want to make money. Healthy cows produce the most milk, which makes the most money for the dairyman. So unless the guy's an idiot, he's gonna make sure his cows are happy and healthy. DUH. This is not to say that there is NO cruelty going on, I'm sure there is. I'm just saying it's not as mainstream as people would have you believe. I once voiced this to a professor my freshman year of college after a student showed an animal cruelty video, and he said, "Just because your boyfriend has a dairy doesn't mean you know how every cow in America is treated." I'll never forget my fury. Maybe not every single cow, dummy... but I can account for thousands and thousands and THOUSANDS of cows. Anyone with a good size dairy in Cali, we know. Or at least Mike does, haha. The prof was not impressed. Because he knew NOTHING about the dairy business. Let me just say... if you're a vegetarian... totally fine with me. I have no problem with people making their own personal choices about eating meat. But you can't get on other people for making the completely legal choice to eat it. And that's all have to say about that.

A Substitutes Rant

Not long ago I subbed for a first grade class and had an annoying conversation with the teacher I subbed for. Now, so far I've really liked all the teachers and especially the principal there, but this one I wanted to smack. Maybe I'm overreacting. You be the judge. I get there in the morning and she had quite detailed notes. I like this. I hate going in with vague weird notes that you have to basically guess what they want done, and you end up asking the kids "well is this how you normally do it?" which is always a mistake because it results in 28 kids yelling different things. Which results in me snapping "well I'm not Mrs Manes so we're gonna do it this way today!" This probably has them (and me) wondering why I asked in the first place. I like notes that explain exactly what they want you to do, including helpful hints, things she does to get them to behave better, warnings of things they'll probably try to say, etc. This way I'm more prepared and can better instruct a class full of kids who are pushing me as far as they can push. Anyway, this teacher has detailed notes, and I'm happy. All morning, everything went well. Kids did what they were supposed to do, little to no problems, getting things done. They come back after lunch, and they're crazy. Really crazy. Like the teachers, "you better be good for the sub or else" warning had officially worn off. They were loud, disrespectful, and rude. Now, before you give me the whole "well that's just how kids are for subs" speech, let me say, it isn't. They will do what you let them get away with. I don't let them get away with much, and I rarely have big problems. By the end of the afternoon I was tired, frazzled, and annoyed. I always write a little note about how they did for the teacher. I explain any problems, tell her who was absent or late, and let her know if she should be proud of them. Most teachers offer their kids a little treat if they get a good note back. This teacher, Mrs Manes, had informed me that they were to get popcorn during their movie if they got a good note, but only if they deserved it. They did not deserve the popcorn. I let the teacher know this. I told her that while her students were lively and intelligent, I could tell they did not behave as well as they normally did. The next day, I come back to the same school (and had a wonder class) and I run into Mrs Manes in the hall after dropping my kids off for lunch. We say hello. I tell her I was her sub yesterday. She doesn't say anything and I notice she is giving me a bit of an attitude. Nothing major.. a clipped smile, not that into small talk, etc. I figure she's probably just having a bad day. I decide to say, "I just wanted to let you know, you really have a great group of kids. Very bright. But I just had the hardest time getting them to pay attention to the lessons!"
She gives me a look of ice. I kid you not, a look of ice. Then, in a clipped tone, she says, "Well, I'm one of the loudest teachers at the school, so yeah, they probably learned that from me."
Um, NO. I'm immediately annoyed. As if I cannot tell the difference between enthusiasm/loudness and being rude/distracting. I wait a minute, thinking she might go on and say that she had a talk with them, or that she understood, or anything that would ease the tension that had built up as a result of her snappy line. I could just tell it would do no good to argue that, no, they weren't just being loud and enthusiastic, they were being brats. So I just sort of changed the subject, asking her about the lunch pick up process. When I am a regular teacher, if I have a sub that even bothers to write a lengthy, thoughtful note back to me, I will be grateful. Most subs do the minimum of what's required, snap at the kids all day, and leave without so much as a "your kids suck". I, on the other hand, follow notes exactly, try to get the kids to have a good time, and write a long note back explaining how they did, what I had trouble with, and often include a funny little story about something a kid said. Hello? I'm obviously a wonder sub, and the idea that this annoying lady thought I was being too harsh was enough to make me want to give her a good smack on her pointed face. So how's that?

We are living in a material world and I am a material girl

Just wanted to share a dumb little story that I found amusing. This morning I went in to sub for 1st grade at about 745, and the secretary informs me that she has me down for all day tomorrow and friday but only a half day today. This is not what she told me on the phone, but whatever. So I'm going back at 11. Since I was already up and moving, I decide to wash Samantha (my car) and pick up a few things at Albertsons. As I'm paying for my items (mom, this was right after I hung up with you) the 50-ish year old looking woman that's bagging my grocerys says "You know, when you first walked in here I had to do a double take, because you look just like Madonna". Um... really? So I say, "Hmm, never heard that one before" and she laughs and says, "Yeah, same blonde hair, same figure, same face shape, everything!"
I'm officially annoyed and offended. Madonna is a nice looking woman and all, but she's like 50! And has crazy yoga arms! And same face shape?? Are you kidding me? So I am just ignoring this woman as I am putting my change away, thinking people from New Mexico are nutty. Then she says, "And I bet you're about the same age"
Now there is a part of me that immediately realizes there must be some kind of mistake. But the other part of me is thinking "what if she is a weird New Mexican who thinks Madonna is only like 40 and assumes that I am also 35-40? Do I really look 15 years or more older than I really am?" I am just looking at this lady like she has grown another head. As I'm reaching for my cart I kind of smile and say "I think I'm just a bit younger than her". Now it is the ladys turn to look at me like I've grown another head. She says "Well she's 21, am I way off?" Now I know she's a crazy New Mexican who's probably on drugs. I just kinda smile and say "ok well thanks so much, have a nice day" and leave. It wasn't until I was already on the way home that I realized what happened... I'm pretty sure she meant, "my daugher", but with her hick accent she said it more like "ma dotta" and I heard "Madonna". Now I feel bad for acting like she was crazy and on drugs. Ha.